Still thinking about praise and rewards. Isn't praise a kind of reward? - and I've railed against rewards as being counter-productive. Yet, Dweck shows that the right kind of praise can fuel intrinsic motivation. I've decided that praise for ability (the bad kind) is a reward, and praise for effort (the good kind) is recognition. Recognition feeds motivation, rewards kill it.
So what is the difference between rewards and recognition? Certainly they can be synonomous. I think the difference becomes clearer when you look at the etymology of each of the words. Reward has at its root warder - meaning to guard or watch over. Recognition has at its root cognōscere - meaning to get to know.
Penelope Trunk nails it when she talks about how to give a compliment:
The difference between a genuine compliment and a desperate brownnosing attempt is empathy and insight, according to Robert Kegan and Lisa Laskow Lahey, Harvard Graduate School of Education psychologists and co-authors of How the Way We Talk Can Change the Way We Work: Seven Languages for Transformation.If you understand what worries someone, and what he is trying hardest to achieve personally, then you will easily spot opportunities for praise. Don’t just say “good job” for the sake of it. In fact, don’t just say “good job.” The most effective compliments are very specific. And creative words are more memorable than standard words, according to Mark Knapp, communications professor at University of Texas. The most common types of praise are about possessions “Nice car” or about actions “Great shot.”
Praise of character is the most rare and most memorable praise of all. But it’s also the most difficult because it requires you to understand the person you’re praising and be thoughtful about how you talk to them. For example, “I appreciated the compassion you showed for the team when you were canceling the project.” (emphasis mine)
Would you rather be watched to see if you are doing things right, and then rewarded when you do, or would you rather be known and recognized for who you are being in this world?
I know many people who are trying to lose weight or make other changes are told by behaviourists to give themselves rewards. How about giving yourself recognition instead? What would that look like?

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