Last weekend was one of the training sessions of the coaching program I am taking. The weekend was focused on helping clients discover their values and then move towards their goals from a place of resonance (I like this definition found at answers.com: Richness or significance, especially in evoking an association or strong emotion).
This takes me back to David Sousa again. At the conference he presented a number of compelling studies showing the link between emotions and learning. In some ways, this is nothing groundbreaking, but sometimes I need to have things repeated to me many times before they sink in (and if you really want to see a slow learner, take a look at the institution of education)!
The information he presented is nicely encapsulated in this article by Candy Lawson, PhD (how many Candys do you know that have PhDs? That's gotta be worth something right there). I particularly like this paragraph on motivation:
Our thoughts and emotions can strongly affect motivation. Motivation is a drive or desire that compels us to do something. If we think we are a good singer, we will likely be motivated to become a member of our church choir. If we think we can't sing, we won't. Often students don't seem to be motivated in school. They don't want to do homework or schoolwork and believe that they have no control over their grades. They believe that they are dumb or stupid. Even though they put out effort, they are never successful and fail to achieve their goals. As a result, they begin to feel stressed out by school and start to feel helpless and hopeless. In this situation, their thoughts affected or caused their negative feelings. Other times students seem unmotivated because they are anxious or depressed. As a result, they have trouble concentrating in school and can't keep their mind on their work. They may think too much about personal problems and focus on the negative. In this situation, their emotions affected or caused their negative thoughts. In both situations, a lack of motivation prevents new learning; it "turns off the switch".
How many of us could read that paragraph with losing weight in mind and nod our heads knowingly? When we think we suck at losing weight, it's hard to feel motivated to try again - for the gajillionth time, for some of us. It's like sitting down to write a test that we know we are going to fail. Why bother? But what if we didn't care only about losing weight? What if we were able to connect our desire to lose weight to a core value that we find highly motivating? For some "looking hot" might be a core value. For others the core value might be "being healthy enough to play with my grandkids". It doesn't matter what the value is, just that it resonates. And it has to honestly resonate - it can't be something that we believe we should value - it has to ring absolutely true. And when we have found something that resonates, we need to keep fanning that flame.
The great thing about the coach training school I am enrolled in is that everything we will be doing with our clients we practice on each other - many, many, many times over. So in one of these practice coaching sessions my coach was able to lead me to connect my desire to lose weight with one of my core values - helping others. In fact, this blog was her challenge to me to act on that value - along with my values of sharing information and building community. And I have to say, so far it has been highly motivating - and I haven't even shared the blog with others yet!
Finding this resonance generates positive emotions for me - helping to rewire some of the negative emotional patterns I have had around trying to lose weight.
