rituals instead of resolutions

New Year's Day has always been associated with the particular act of making resolutions. Resolution comes from the Latin resolvere, which means to untie. And this is how many people use their resolutions - as a time to set a goal to break a bad habit. You know the ones. They are narrow goals that are all about STOP! They take the form of "I will stop eating junk food." "I will stop smoking.", etc. These are limiting because there is no new state - no possibilty. We know from the research that we are not motivated by negativity or fear, but we are motivated by connecting to what we really want our lives to be.

Instead of doing the same old resolution thing this year, why not come up with a ritual that speaks to you, touches your emotions (which we know is necessary for change to happen) and allows for space, grace and possibility.

I've gathered some ideas here - maybe some of these will provide ingredients for your own New Year's ritual.

Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love, describes how she brought home what she learned about the importance of ritual in Indonesia (transcribed from an interview with CBC Tapestry):

The Indonesians are the ones who get, "When in doubt, make a ritual. And when there isn't one, make one up that suits you." ...

When you create a ritual, often in Bali they involve burning, smoke, offering up flowers or letting something loose into the sea, you know, you let go of something, you let go of your own sense of doership, you let go of your own sense of "I gotta manage this, I gotta fix this." You give it away. You send it up in smoke, you send it up in prayer, you send it into the water and you come away, regardless of what you might believe about whether God responds to your request, there is no doubt that you come away calmer.

I did a massive New Years' ritual this year with my best friend, Jennifer, here in Philadelphia, who is a yoga instructor. And we got together the week before New Year's and we wrote intentions and we cleaned the house and we did cleanses. And then on New Years' morning we got up really early and we walked down to a pond and we hung these little homemade bird feeders in the trees- you know, little pine cones filled with peanut butter and bird seed, and each bird seed had been put there as a prayer and an intention so the birds could take it and fly it to heaven. And you know, it's all like voodoo, woodoo, goodee stuff, but let me tell you how euphoric that day was - and, you know, coming home feeling like I'm participating in destiny here, you know, I'm making an offering, I'm letting things go, I'm wishing for things, and it's a wonderful way to begin New Years Day, instead of, you know, hung over.

And from Jen Lemen: A Little Ritual for Letting Go of Fear and Other Things That Weigh You Down

Andrea at Superhero Journal makes lists of what she is grateful for and what she intends to create in her life in the next year.

Another popular alternative is creating a life theme or choosing a word for the year.

And emdot and her friends created prayer flags for their words. (If you like this idea, Liz sells lovely prayer flags in her Etsy shop with pockets for your intentions.)

Me, I'm going to do a little combination of things - I'm not sure exactly what it will look like yet, but I'm going for a walk down by the river to think about it and see what inspires me.

Comments

[emdot]

i guess i'm a little sappy today because e. gilbert's story of the seed and the birds just put tears in my eyes. that is incredibly touching and smart and i want to do that!

thanks for the mention, lianne. i hope the new year brings you much happiness and ease. :)